THE POSITIVITY MINDSET

In life we come across so many different kinds of people that all have different  intentions with you, but before you can learn to love someone else, you have to learn to  love yourself first. Self love is just as important as anything else, and to be okay in just  the company of yourself is a learning process that is just as important as learning to be  comfortable in the presence of others.  The difference between giving up and taking a rest is oh so important. You might have given it everything you have got but not make it. Remember to disregard everything that comes after the word but. You’ve written over 100 exams, and gotten a perfect score in some and scored  miserably in others, but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even  remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and  competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not  much will happen – you will get ...

I always thought my lover would be my better half, my other half that completes me. Yet when I gave you my everything you turned away and left, never looking back. With a single touch you crumbled the walls around my heart. You left me to rebuild the walls and here I am. rising from the destruction caused by you I am standing once again. And now i do not need you for validation, for acceptance, I do not need you. I complete myself, I am not half of anything. After the destruction comes the resurrection and, I am my own before anyone else's. I am my own and never yours.

You taught me, how the walls I built so high around me, needed to be higher. You crept in without my knowledge, encompassing my every thought. Your touch making me forget everything, except your name. And in the wake of you leaving, my walls crumbled around me, shattering to a million pieces. and here I am rebuilding once again. I tried to save a lost boy, who thought he didn't need saving. And as a result, I lost myself. The aftermath of a beautiful catastrophe, is one person always ends up hurt more.

I have no idea what to call this, this thing that you do to me - this upside-down tremor of an almost-earthquake at the pit of my stomach. I don't know what to call it, because fear and happiness are both equally as earth-shattering in my body, and I don't know which category you belong to. Science made a mistake when it didn't mark your mouth as a point on the Richter Scale. And now, I am all tremble and chaos, holding my breath for you. All of the thousand mile aftershocks knocking words off my tongue. Us- just the two of us with summer wrapped around our throats No - you as the epicenter, you as ground zero. You, as tequila and regret on my tongue, the early hours of the morning where we are the least afraid to talk to each other. Me, self-conscious and wanton, erasing all the soft confessions I want to share with you, coveting the parts of myself, I do not know if I am ready to give to you, yet here we are. Me, laying out my secrets fo...

Growing up my childhood was a rollercoaster to say the least...good times and bad. I can remember exactly what I was doing, wearing and even saying at some of these exact times.  If you have never had someone angrily wash dishes in your directions or fold laundry while looking at you scornfully, how are you then going to understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask, "Are you mad at me?" when you set the bag of groceries on the counter too hard. It's a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you have left it. Abused kids speak a language you cannot possibly begin to learn or understand. Often this "language" is misinterpreted, its not so much the act of folding a sock angrily at you is abusive, but the conditioned response because of what is to follow is. It's more about sitting there terrified to speak or move, and waiting for when they will snap, and feeling like you are walking on eggshells as to not...

I'm so done with the way girls in their twenties are treated. I'm so done with the people who literally create timetables for us. 20-24 years old find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, and 27-29 get married. I don't want to get 2 a.m texts from my friend who is freaking out that she is going to die alone. I don't want to see my 20-year-old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. I don't want to see us falling for every nice guy who doesn't look creepy or just treats us nice. I don't want to see girls get sad or paranoid just because they don't fit into this bizarre schedule. You should enjoy your life to the fullest and one day you will find your 10/10, so don't pursue a 6 just because you don't want to be single. It's ok, and one day you will find someone; so don't split your love with people who don't deserve it. Keep it to yourself and when the times comes you will know. I know it hurts, it wi...

Just a sort of reflection/note to future self that I just had to write out to make it more official. It has been a whirlwind of activity for the past couple months, equally good and bad moments have happened, and with among those moments I have grown and learned somethings. And with that, this post manifested. Word of advice I have learned over the past month or so: Everyone is temporary, no matter who they are and what they tell you. Don't rely on on anyone but  yourself  to get you through what you have to get through in order to succeed.  Second word of advice: "Faking it till you make it" is not always the way it works. Sometimes you have to cry yourself to sleep every night for two weeks, and isolate yourself from everyone in order to properly heal. The hard way might take a little longer to cross the finish line with, but the good thing is that when you do heal, you will know yourself, what you want and what you like about yourself a lot better that if you did ...

I feel like these days, relationships come and go. No one thinks about the future, cause it's so far away. But if you can't see yourself curled up in bed, every Sunday morning with her for the rest of your life, let her go. If you aren't excited to take her to places she hasn't been before just to see the look on her face, let her go. If you don't surprise her even though she hates it, let her go. If you can picture yourself in a place you love, and not wish she was there with you, let her go. Let her go so someone can love her more, Let her go because she deserves to be loved. Let her go before you break her. Let her go before she gives up on the idea of love.

Don't call me beautiful, frankly, I don't care. Call me intelligent, tell me my laugh is contagious, and that I make you smile. Tell me I have something more to offer, then just my body, in a world that is more obsessed with our physical appearances than anything else. Tell me my brain is enough, and my body is not my validation.

I love being straightforward with the people that are in my life and the people I meet. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication really be?). I love telling people I love them, and telling people they are wonderful human beings, and that I appreciate them in my life. I love saying "kiss me harder", and "You're a great person", and "You brighten up my day". I try to live my life being as straight-forward as I can be. Because one day, I might get hit by a bus. Maybe it's weird. Maybe it's scary. But to me, it seems downright impossible to just be -  instead you just should let people know that you need them, want them, and that in this very moment you will die if you don't see them, hold them, touch them in some way, whether its your feet on their thighs sitting on the couch, your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands. To me there is nothing more beautiful than being ...

Maybe he doesn't hit you, but he makes sure you believe you're too broken or damaged to ever be wanted by anyone else. Maybe he doesn't hit you, but he constantly criticizes your clothes and makeup. Maybe he doesn't hit you, but he forces you to work-out and eat less junk food. Maybe he doesn't hit you, but judges your body and tells you to look more "feminine". Maybe he doesn't hit you but does threaten to if you don't follow what he tells you to do. Maybe he doesn't hit you but constantly goes through your phone, messages, and social media. Maybe he doesn't hit you, but he tries to control who you talk to, where you go, who your friends are and say's it's out of love. Maybe he doesn't hit you, Maybe he doesn't do this or that, But if his actions are detrimental to your well-being, Don't just take it because he says it's out of love. Out of love someone would be with you, Just for the way you are,...

I just want to say, shout out the people who have parents that are loving, yet black holes of emotional labor as well. It took me a couple of years to realize it is okay to feel this way; to have mixed feelings about your parents and the relationship you have with them. Sometimes your parents love you and have your best intentions at heart, but at the same time can be toxic to you, your health, and your growth in life. Often times it is hard to realize this, as it might just come across as "normal". Sometimes your parents love you genuinely, but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform unequal amounts of emotional labor/support. Some parents (like mine) manifest symptoms of their mental illnesses in ways that is toxic to your well-being and mental health. Some parents, like mine, try really hard to be good supportive parents which I am thankful for, yet they fall back on old habits of emotional manipulation because they are modeling behavior they grew up with; even...

17 things to remember in 2017... the nicer you are the more beautiful you become time invested in yourself is never time wasted your grades do not define your intelligence surround yourself with people who help you grow cutting ties with people you've held onto for too long with prevent future rope burns live for the small things like laughing too hard or going on those midnight drives learn to listen to the music of the moment or you might just miss it never lose hope sometimes you have to let people go, not because you do not care, but because they do not be honest; genuinely honest to yourself and those around you your worth is not determined by other people's inability to see it there is beauty in simplicity kill the part of yourself that makes you think you can not move on the biggest battle you will fight is the one between who you are now and who you want to become they will see how you affected their life much later be fearless and courageous; figh...