THE POSITIVITY MINDSET

He listens and never stops listening, He's almost everything I wished you could have been for me, And more. I hope you you find someone for you, The way he is for me. I want this to work, Really, truly want this to work He's almost too good to be true though. I'm scared,  Always, Maybe he does not feel the same, Or maybe he just has a kind heart and is being friendly, I don't know. He doesn't show any direct interest, Or maybe there are signs I am not picking up. But like I said, This is too good to be true. I don't deserve nice things, but you do. I hope you find someone for you, You deserve it.

These days I feel like I'm a contradiction. I am a mixture of happy and sad at the same time and I am trying to figure out how to get by in life without losing myself in all of the definitions and explanations people want to have from me. It seems on most days I am drowning and it feels like nobody notices what is wrong. I have never been too confident in swimming and right now it feels like I am drowning in a cold, dark bottomless lake. Maybe because if I am already under water, I stay quiet, suffering in silence. I refuse to make a single move while I am falling down because I am too worried I will make the water wave a little. I don't want to bother anyone for help. I can safe myself. I can save myself. I can save myself. I don't need anyone because no one wants me. So far that is the mantra I repeat in my head in the mornings when I force myself out go the cloud of darkness and get out of bed.  These past couple months have honestly been a dark battle mentally and it ...