Life is more than a Timetable
I'm so done with the way girls in their twenties are treated. I'm so done with the people who literally create timetables for us. 20-24 years old find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, and 27-29 get married. I don't want to get 2 a.m texts from my friend who is freaking out that she is going to die alone. I don't want to see my 20-year-old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. I don't want to see us falling for every nice guy who doesn't look creepy or just treats us nice. I don't want to see girls get sad or paranoid just because they don't fit into this bizarre schedule.
You should enjoy your life to the fullest and one day you will find your 10/10, so don't pursue a 6 just because you don't want to be single. It's ok, and one day you will find someone; so don't split your love with people who don't deserve it. Keep it to yourself and when the times comes you will know. I know it hurts, it will hurt sometimes; and sometimes you wish you could just open a part of yourself up and release the love, but not every kind of love is romantic. Show it instead to the people who deserve it, like your friends, family, and yourself.
It's not just the timetable we need to get away from, but the goal itself I believe. "One day you will find someone" sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn't lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it's not necessarily true.
I know people (relatives in some cases) that never marry, and as far as I am aware, even had a great romance. They dated a lot, but some things just never clicked, and have given up on the idea of ever finding their significant other. I know one of my favourite childhood teachers was close to 50, divorced her asshole husband a long time ago, and never found anyone since. We all know men and women like these. And because we know them, we know that "one day you will find someone," is an empty promise. Because sometimes you just... don't. Or sometimes you do, and he turns out to be an idiot. Or you do, and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible. And because society has us so fixated on finding "our other half", we view the people that can't or don't as cautionary tales.
BUT.....
I know an individual that although she gave up on the idea of every finding a significant other, she devoted her time nurturing the love of books in kids, including myself. And because of her I haven't given up on writing throughout the years. My elementary school teacher is now a social worker and has helped countless kids at risk get a better chance at life.
These women's lives aren't nothing. In fact, there are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 a.m's, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.
So love your family, your friends, your pets, your job, and whatever else needs your constant love and appreciation. Love sunsets, and the smell of rain, and yourself. Just don't love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these things as things worth loving all in themselves.
It's hard sometimes, believe me I know. The dark 3 a.m's still comes sometimes. But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life is worth it because of the platonic, familial friendship love that I share. And if the other kind of love does come someday again, it'll be nice, but it won't make the other love any less. It's just the caramel sauce on a sundae -- tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.
You should enjoy your life to the fullest and one day you will find your 10/10, so don't pursue a 6 just because you don't want to be single. It's ok, and one day you will find someone; so don't split your love with people who don't deserve it. Keep it to yourself and when the times comes you will know. I know it hurts, it will hurt sometimes; and sometimes you wish you could just open a part of yourself up and release the love, but not every kind of love is romantic. Show it instead to the people who deserve it, like your friends, family, and yourself.
It's not just the timetable we need to get away from, but the goal itself I believe. "One day you will find someone" sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn't lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it's not necessarily true.
I know people (relatives in some cases) that never marry, and as far as I am aware, even had a great romance. They dated a lot, but some things just never clicked, and have given up on the idea of ever finding their significant other. I know one of my favourite childhood teachers was close to 50, divorced her asshole husband a long time ago, and never found anyone since. We all know men and women like these. And because we know them, we know that "one day you will find someone," is an empty promise. Because sometimes you just... don't. Or sometimes you do, and he turns out to be an idiot. Or you do, and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible. And because society has us so fixated on finding "our other half", we view the people that can't or don't as cautionary tales.
BUT.....
I know an individual that although she gave up on the idea of every finding a significant other, she devoted her time nurturing the love of books in kids, including myself. And because of her I haven't given up on writing throughout the years. My elementary school teacher is now a social worker and has helped countless kids at risk get a better chance at life.
These women's lives aren't nothing. In fact, there are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 a.m's, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.
So love your family, your friends, your pets, your job, and whatever else needs your constant love and appreciation. Love sunsets, and the smell of rain, and yourself. Just don't love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these things as things worth loving all in themselves.
It's hard sometimes, believe me I know. The dark 3 a.m's still comes sometimes. But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life is worth it because of the platonic, familial friendship love that I share. And if the other kind of love does come someday again, it'll be nice, but it won't make the other love any less. It's just the caramel sauce on a sundae -- tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.
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