Trust Issues
Every hello ends with a goodbye eventually; whether it be a loved one or a friend, eventually things come up and you just drift apart in a blink of an eye. Have had this happen to me again and again by people who I thought were going to stick around, but eventually left. I've constantly built, torn down, and rebuilt my walls up higher and higher to protect myself from getting hurt. I've become a very guarded person and it now takes me longer to trust people because of what has happened to me in the past. I try to be a positive person, and always try to take something positive out of any situation, but sometimes life just takes you by surprise and throws you a curveball.
I build up these high walls to protect myself from the hurt I know is coming in the end. But then there will be just one person that breaks through the tough walls of my heart and for a short time I let it happen, let that person in, trust them 100%, give them everything and more, and become so vulnerable and trust that individual completely that it hurts when things don't work out. It sucks when you are the one putting 120% into a relationship, and the other person is only putting in a measly 45 or 60% in. I've had way too many people come and go in my life, have had way too many half-assed relationships that have meant so much to me and nothing to the other person, to have another one would break me to a million pieces.
It sucks not knowing where you stand with someone. Not knowing what exactly they think when your name comes up, or what you mean to someone whether as a friend or more. Hate when you can't stop thinking about that one person, everything throughout the day reminds you of them, yet deep down inside you know they probably haven't thought about you once. I'm tired. Tired of having to go through this cycle again and again. Tired of thinking that this time it will be different, that this time it'll last and I'll get my happy ending. But in life you can never be too comfortable, and things once again get shaken up. I'm just tired of temporary people in my life wanting a permanent spot in my life. :(
~Think Positive~Be Positive~And Positive Things Will Happen~ XO
Just had to vent on a few recents things that have made me think long and hard about where people stand in my life right now. Made a personal decisions that I'm going to try to keep and see how that effects me, the people in my life, and my life entirely. Let's just say right now actions speak a lot louder than words :) No more chasing, I'm done. My walls are up and protecting me.
I build up these high walls to protect myself from the hurt I know is coming in the end. But then there will be just one person that breaks through the tough walls of my heart and for a short time I let it happen, let that person in, trust them 100%, give them everything and more, and become so vulnerable and trust that individual completely that it hurts when things don't work out. It sucks when you are the one putting 120% into a relationship, and the other person is only putting in a measly 45 or 60% in. I've had way too many people come and go in my life, have had way too many half-assed relationships that have meant so much to me and nothing to the other person, to have another one would break me to a million pieces.
It sucks not knowing where you stand with someone. Not knowing what exactly they think when your name comes up, or what you mean to someone whether as a friend or more. Hate when you can't stop thinking about that one person, everything throughout the day reminds you of them, yet deep down inside you know they probably haven't thought about you once. I'm tired. Tired of having to go through this cycle again and again. Tired of thinking that this time it will be different, that this time it'll last and I'll get my happy ending. But in life you can never be too comfortable, and things once again get shaken up. I'm just tired of temporary people in my life wanting a permanent spot in my life. :(
~Think Positive~Be Positive~And Positive Things Will Happen~ XO
Just had to vent on a few recents things that have made me think long and hard about where people stand in my life right now. Made a personal decisions that I'm going to try to keep and see how that effects me, the people in my life, and my life entirely. Let's just say right now actions speak a lot louder than words :) No more chasing, I'm done. My walls are up and protecting me.
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